Inquiring minds keep asking, “How goes the rest of your story?”
Those of us with the longer version of the Mild Coronavirus are discovering that it cycles back, up and down for a while. (Yes, it is mild, not horribly uncomfortable.)
This is day 56 for me, but the worst is past.
It’s mostly weakness and fatigue.
The dizziness is only a wisp of what it was.
When I get too active (my previous “normal activity” level), the sore lung and throat flare up.
Don’t get too confident, Missy – don’t over-do.
I didn’t know my body wanted this much freaking patience.
Several times a day I must stop, drop, and rest.
I should complain about that?
(Yeah. I do. Friends call me the energizer bunny, but for the time being I can’t be that.)
Then again, it really is teaching me patience and gratitude.
I’m listening to my body better than ever.
Before this, I mostly told it to keep working on my agenda.
Throw the agendas out the window!
Now that feels good!
Those Vitamin B shots perk me up every few days.
Feeling better, feeling confident, I stop taking most of the antiviral herbs. (Mistake?)
I relax my hourly vitamin C habit, down to every 2 or 3 hours. (Mistake?)
I’m still having night sweats, but I see them as useful detox.
I require frequent naps. I take short walks outdoors twice a day, from here on out.
I don’t read Coronavirus research and emails – most are doom and gloom, and I’m not going to let that vibration play in my head.
A week of psoriasis itches at my ankles like some strange detox.
I take my final Vitamin B shot.
Finally today is a fabulous day, feeling great, laughing for joy, plenty of energy to do things (within reason).
I must be truly all better, and I say so to the doctor: “Don’t worry about me no more.”
Wham, Corona says I’m too cocky. She slams me with an all-day headache, weakness, fatigue, miasma. Yucky sick again. I’m back on hourly vitamin C.
Feeling fair. Weakness and fatigue but not terrible. Dizziness crops up occasionally but not nearly as bad as it was a few weeks ago.
Well hell, my sore throat and left lung pain come creeping back, after they were gone for at least a week. Who invited them back, plus another big headache?
I guess I was stressed and didn’t sleep well.
Have I no resilience?
Sometimes I feel hollow in my guts, like I’m overdrawn with a deep deficit of energy. Empty and hollow.
I’m sticky and pasty at night. Night sweats keep pouring.
(No fever, though – not since the first week.)
For two days now, itchy eyes at bedtime lead to crusty eyes in the morning.
Is Corona trying to leave the same way she came in?
I’m feeling forlorn.
I start new antiviral herbs plus a new campaign of 3 cloves minced raw garlic in 2 packets Emergen-C twice a day.
Frequent oregano oil for sore throat.
Krill (fish) oil to avert blood clots.
I buy more pricey Vitamin B shots from my MD.
Last night big frustration, little sleep. (Why do I do that?)
My sore throat increased with my focus upon it. (I watched it happen!)
I felt abandoned and forgotten, although every time I asked to feel Divine Love, It flowed in.
I know my thoughts mess me up. (But ‘knowing’ doesn’t help me stop it.)
Anger propels my short morning walk.
Dull pain burns in my left lung again, soreness going down the left throat and bronchus again, like it did weeks ago.
Have I gone back to square one? It’s not really square one. I’ve had good days. The focus of my attention makes it worse.
I’m enraged at the universe.
I want my power and control back. (Or were they always an illusion?)
Today the lung ache feels like the residual after a big cry, after you suck air through jagged breaths, after you have spent yourself on grief.
I am ready to quit thinking so hard.
I want everything to be perfect, but it is not.
It is taking its sweet time.
It is teaching me patience.
I don’t have the great health and stamina I had before all this started, and yet I am improving.
I do get to have my life.
My life plus plenty of rest.
I think the reason everybody’s virus is so unique is that it serves up specific learning and transformation, tailor-made.
My long-standing requests – to drop my perfectionist attitudes, to stop my inner pusher, to quit the hero syndrome, to live more simply, to live from my heart in the moment – these may come to pass.
More than ever, I want to do only what my heart is drawn to do.
Forget the fluff, the extraneous stuff.
Throw the agenda out the windah’.
Your body is a reflection of your thoughts.
Resistance against anything backfires.
Let’s quit dwelling on Corona and let her fade away.
… So how is your story going?
(For the previous part of this story, see Don’t Panic Like I Did – One Weird Coronavirus Story)
(Thanks to Sergei Tokmakov of Pixabay and map at pxhere for these images.)