Whoops, despite my healthy advice, I succumbed to Corona.
My symptoms unfolded strangely.
But I learned a bit, these 5 weeks.
I learned the hard way: have no fear, because Corona thrives on fear. She blooms on it.
Don’t waste your anger, resentment, or any other strong energy on her.
Go soft, go patient, love your friends, and ride this wave out.
She’s just trying to do her thing like anybody else, I guess.
Maybe, if you don’t load her up with emotional charge, she won’t have much effect on you.
But I loaded her up, darn it.
I tripped all over the collective fear and my fear,
which ramped up my symptoms.
(It did not help that the world totally shivered in fear, the same week I caught the bug.)
I didn’t totally panic, okay?
I kept my usual optimism.
But you know how, in the wee hours of the night, scary stuff bubbles up? Yeah. That.
She wants to be called Coronavirus and wear her crown (corona).
She does not want to be “COVID-19,” which sounds like a tank or a machine gun. She’s not one of those.
She is small, squishy, and wears a tiara.
Don’t be surprised at anything she does.
She produces weird symptoms, not like a natural disease.
She is odd because she is put together a bit like Frankenstein, poor dear.
(Don’t tell her I said so. And remember Frankenstein got lonely and faded away.)
Who knows if she came with an agenda, but her effects are to pause pollution, cleanse the Earth, and stop our frantic pace of misguided living.
She brings mindfulness and appreciation for the preciousness of our ordinary lives.
Her eventual outcome will be more loving-kindness on our planet.
Part of me says, “Thank you, Corona, for helping us.” (Thank you and goodbye.)
Yet she has confused me, these past 5 weeks.
(before Arizona went on high alert)
I hadn’t been near any sick people, but 5 days prior, my eyes itched oddly for a couple days. I rubbed them and wondered, what the heck?
(Now I think Corona entered through my eyes. Maybe I touched some random surface, and touched my eye? This was before we even thought about such dangers.)
I had successfully ignored the worst news until I started reading Facebook notes from NYC medical friends (lab work, specific treatments in ICU, lack of effective medicine).
Heroic against-all-odds stories rose to joyful healing, only to crash into the final fatal complication. The hopeless pattern.
Reading this, my heart hurt and remembered devastating scenes in my ICU career.
My friends who still worked at the hospital were rightfully horrified and terrified by the impending doom.
I feared for them.
I feared for my older family members and friends.
Right then I felt a warm fatigue around my eyes, like the mask around raccoon eyes. Strange sensation.
Maybe too much computer, no big deal, I thought.
I went to bed with high anxiety and stayed awake a lot.
(Oy. Poor choice. Don’t do this.)
Before dawn I feel a tiny headache and the raccoon-eye warmth. (No fever.)
I jump on this with Oscillococcinum, my big-cannon remedy.
I am confident, feel good, no worries.
Not surprised to catch some silly little germ. I have avoided the flu all season (and avoided the flu shot). My Oscillo doses today will wipe out this germ by tonight. (It always does.)
A great day.
This afternoon – Why do I have sharp spiky sensations in my hands for a while?
By nightfall I have a definite fever, feel weak and confused.
Oscillococcinum, how could you fail me?
I start a bunch of antiviral supplements.
Why are my sinuses extra dry? That never happens.
Now I’m going into quarantine, ahead of the crowd. My own bedroom and bathroom.
On my morning walk those sharp spiky bits-of-broken-glass crackle inside my heels.
What the heck? Extremely strange. (Dehydration? But I drink plenty of water.)
I sterilize door knobs, handles, everything in the house, just in case, to protect my husband. I start wearing gloves to keep germs to myself.
I could be overreacting – maybe it’s nothing.
If this is Corona, it’s not bad so far.
It’s only 30% of a regular flu. Little headache, body ache, low grade fever (99°), small ache in my left lung. No cough.
My supplements are probably making it easy on me.
I put tea tree oil in my diffuser and inhale it (for weeks).
My doctor’s office agrees with my assessment, and, “Oh yes it’s very mild for most people. … No, you can’t get tested unless you cannot breathe, whereupon you will be tested in the Emergency Room.”
I worry terribly: what if I unwittingly passed germs earlier?
It spreads by droplets. Hope I didn’t drop any. No cough, so maybe not?
My sinuses are strangely dry.
Please don’t let anybody else get sick.
This desperate thought is my biggest stress.
Well, this plus my TV-hobbyist husband calls out the latest death counts every ten minutes (and he says, “You don’t have it, only ten people in Arizona have it.”)
(Of course I use energy healing, meditation, and Biofield tuning on myself, but -)
All week fatigue, dizziness, low-grade fever, body aches and now a bigger headache which aspirin won’t touch. (Still no cough, thanks!)
Lung hurts in two places, left sternum. Worries me.
I add two more antiviral herbs. (Please don’t let me get pneumonia.)
The lung pain disappears while I listen to my favorite metaphysical speaker talk about this worldwide crisis, the healing of Mother Earth, and how we are all shifting from fear to love.
This is the transformative change we’ve been waiting for!
If we amplify that love vibration, all fear and illness will dissolve.
He suggests hydration, rest, Vitamin C, sunshine on the skin, breathing into the ribs, stretching them.
Coincidentally the news pops that the only successful medication in Wuhan was intravenous Vitamin C.
Oy, how could I forget the C all week? I start on 1000 mg per hour.
(Do not try this at home.)
I wish I’d never seen the research that if symptoms last more than 8 days, it gets worse, going into pneumonia and ventilators!
This means I need to improve by tomorrow, and time is short!
I must be vigilant.
I must make myself sleep. Are we drifting yet?
Let go! I must watch me let go!
I can’t let go. I’m on the 8-day deadline, dammit.
Tonight the lung pain is moderate (more pain than usual).
I meditate a ton, use meridian tapping, all healing methods, bundles of prayer.
Finally something in my head says “pleurisy.”
Oh, yeah – maybe it’s only pleurisy.
I rummage to find the heating pad, and it helps.
Okay, I’m a bit short on sleep (6 hours), but hey, I feel pretty strong. No fever.
Yay, first day of no fever. This is my day to feel great!
I go walking but a half-mile out, I go dizzy. I might faint.
Deep breaths and baby steps, slow, steady. Breathe.
Determination gets me home.
Serious rest and meditation today, lying flat. Sunbathing through the window.
Thank goodness the 99° fever is gone (and never returns).
Still no cough, thanks. But lung pain continues.
(I tell my family I’ll get better any day now . . . I repeat that the next few weeks.)
(Right before I wake up this morning, some demon presses on my crown. Hope not.)
I start a short walk, but too dizzy to leave my driveway.
This week is all dizziness, weakness, mild nausea, mild sternal pain. (No cough, thanks.)
I am earthing a bit each day, sitting on the lawn, pulling a few weeds, sunning myself.
Resting often, two naps a day, still able to function despite weakness.
When I speak a long paragraph, I am oddly out of breath. What hidden process happens in my lungs?
I drink tons of water, yet symptoms reveal dehydration.
Is the dizziness a low thyroid?
Yet it also happens when I tilt my head or when I chew crunchy foods.
Crunchy-food dizzy? I think it’s my inner ears?
Celebrating that all my friends and family are healthy. Maximum incubation time is 14 days, so if anybody picked up my germ, it would have appeared by now. Gratitude for the health of my peeps!
Mild weakness, naps, intermittent lung pain in the left bronchus, I think.
That spiky glass-shards sensation is in my heels again.
Still earthing and sunning myself.
Today all the doctor offices shut down. Nobody sees patients.
All non-essential businesses shut down too.
Now my pattern is dizziness every-other day. Peculiar.
Strong dizziness alternates with raccoon-eye headache the next day. Or the headache sits between the eyes. Whenever it’s headache-day, the dizziness is gone.
Is Corona drifting from the central lining of my brain (headache) and the next day wafting to the periphery, into the lining of my inner ears (dizziness)?
Is Corona messing with the inner lining of everything, including the lungs?
Is she dehydrating the tissues?
My sinuses remain oddly dry.
These are my harebrained theories – could be totally wrong.
(Why do I spend so much time thinking about her? Don’t do this at home – don’t give her much attention.)
Onset of the Gnarly Fatigue.
Up until now I take a daily 10-min walk, morning and afternoon nap, but mostly up and about the house gently.
By this afternoon I’m so dizzy, nauseous, and weak that I must lie flat. No choice.
Big lung pain left bronchus. Sore jaws. Sore thighs.
I put the word out to my lightworker friends, asking for prayers and healing.
Within hours the pain subsides – ahh, thanks.
But after the activity of supper, it’s back.
I see my body needs extreme gentleness.
I’m super grateful for the support of friends and family.
Gnarly Fatigue continues.
How can I wake up from a 9-hour sleep, feel good, stand up for 2 minutes, and then feel utterly exhausted, as if I’d had no sleep at all?
I’m not short of breath.
I get breathless when I talk too long.
Still, it’s not extreme. Not hospital-time. Today I’m nearly pain-free, but aggravated.
I can be out of bed for 30 minutes max, then I collapse.
Must lie flat.
The lung pain is my barometer to get down, get flat. Then the pain eases off.
Sometimes my sternum burns. (My cardiac-nurse mind tries to ignore this. After all, there’s no help available except at the E.R. and I don’t want to go there. I can breathe fine. They want to see only those who can’t breathe.)
Two friends simultaneously send me Divine Love Healing, twice a day (the next couple weeks). This feels blissful, carries me to sweetness.
I get blissed with my favorite guided meditations, too.
Tons of family and friends are sending love, light, and prayers.
I’m so grateful.
My doctor’s office suddenly acquires the 1-drop blood test for Corona, the very day I feel desperate enough to call them. I stay in my car for the test. Negative – no Corona, past 7 days. (Or not contagious for 7 days?)
Since I’m not germy, they send me for thyroid labs and chest x-ray.
(If I were germy, I’d be out of luck.)
They suspect pneumonia – Nooo!
(Another near-sleepless night. Don’t do this.)
A miracle – both thyroid and chest are normal.
Cool. I just wish I didn’t feel so yucky.
I am beyond fatigued, queasy, weak, dizzy.
Why am I breathless when I talk too long, even though my lungs are clear (by my stethoscope), and I can breathe fine?
What the heck is going on?
Night sweats are now flowing (and for the coming weeks). My body must know what it’s doing, cleaning this stuff out with a good sweat.
Same old weary symptoms, but today something brand new.
A unicorn headache (that spot where the horn would go) plus ice-cold feet (or hooves).
The name of this game is transformation, but I never would have guessed …?
However. I’m finally relaxing into this process.
It has worn me down and made me patient.
(Hey, that’s why they call you a patient, right?)
Didn’t I ask (for months, years) to learn to stay in the Present Moment?
Well, now I’m Here. Now.
Didn’t I ask to strengthen my sense of appreciation and gratitude?
Yup. Here it is.
Didn’t I ask to love everything and feel that All-Is-One?
Everything is so precious now.
All the ordinary stuff is no longer taken for granted.
I’m slowing waaaay down to make a new start, deep inside.
Everything is in right order.
Feeling worse with lung pain and burning sternal pain, I wrangle a call with my M.D.
(“You’ve been that sick? For how long? You’ve got COVID-19. Oh, the blood-drop test has a margin of error, it was wrong in your case. Buy an oximeter, watch your oxygen levels. Let’s test your husband.”)
Doc puts me on the newly-hatched combo of the malaria drug (Plaquenil) and Azithromycin. He says stay on my Vitamin C 1000 per hour.
I’m still on handfuls of antiviral herbs. My Naturopath says no problem, carry on.
(Oximeter will arrive in about 20 days – thanks, Amazon.)
(Pharmacy insert on Plaquenil: “may cause dizziness.” Nice.)
Hubby is healthy, tests negative.
He has been cooking great food for me this whole time.
What would I ever do without him?
Pains are gone.
Fatigue still keeps me flat virtually all day.
M.D. adds “Vitamin B cocktail” intramuscular shots I can give myself.
More distance healing flows in and lights me up.
The past two mornings are still heavy fatigue in bed, but in the afternoons I have the energy to be out of bed, if I move slow and pace myself.
Baby steps. I’ll take it!
I’ll get better every day now.
May you never fall ill, but if you do,
may you relax and chill out better than I did.
You already have a big advantage, because:
– You can get tested quicker.
– You can get on the drug combo that works better.
– You benefit from all the latest research!
– You’re too bored with quarantine to panic anymore.
(This Corona story continues: No Panic, More Scoop – One Weird Coronavirus Fading)
(Image credit – thanks to emoji from Pixabay, tiara from FreeSVG, world map Pxhere)