What am I Resisting?
Ask this question to handle stress or pain or ailment.
Trouble inside boils down to stress, and
stress boils down to resistance against what-is.
Recently I received an insult, or perceived it that way. (Don’t we all?)
My downward spiral took me straight into trouble and injury. (Because the Universe talks to me always, like it talks to you, right?)
That spiral feels like falling off a cliff onto the jagged rocks. (Exaggeration, yes, but how do you feel when your mellow vibe suddenly dives into conflict and pain?)
It happens so fast, I hardly know what hits me.
Looking under the microscope, what really happened?
1 – I rejected the insult (veiled as a joke) and judged the other person’s faults.
2 – I seethed with the insult (and held my breath, as we do in a difficulty).
3 – Felt overwhelmed with resentment from old stuff with the person.
4 – Resentment flowed upward in my body. (Blocked by holding the breath.)
5 – I automatically stifled it (which is my perfectionist pattern, although many of us stifle our emotions).
6 – I replied with a mild statement (conveying 2% of my anger).
7 – I did not want an argument. It wasn’t worth it. (A big spew is a bad idea.)
8 – My volcano released a tiny bit of steam. The rest of that resentment stayed in my body, in my field. Burning lava with no place to go. I held it down. (Welcome to my perfectionist world.)
I wanted to forget it, not deal with it. It was not convenient.
9 – I resisted the interaction, the anger, the grief and emotional pain.
Lava pushed upward with great pressure against chronic resistance.
The lava had nowhere to go. So it expressed itself in my determined steps through the misty rain across the asphalt. I distracted myself by inspecting the umbrella around my head. Boy, was I up in my head, making other plans.
But lava exploded in a fall and a sprained ankle, telling me, “You just cannot step forward anymore with this resentment.”
(Full disclosure – in hindsight I know the “insult” was unintentional. It was supposed to be a joke. But.)
Okay. Next time? I need a plan (without spewing).
1 – NOTICE what’s happening. (Inner voice says, “That hurts” or “What’s this,” etc.)
2 – BREATHE deeply. (Don’t hold the breath, but consciously take full breaths.)
3 – ALLOW the energy of this emotion to rise up inside – keep breathing with it.
4 – FEEL the bodily sensations of this emotional energy. Name the sensations. Name the emotions.
5 – Don’t wallow, just OBSERVE. Note which parts of your body feel fine. Keep breathing.
6 – E-motion is energy in motion. Let this force pour through. Let your breath carry it.
Let it be embodied. Let it tell you exactly how you feel.
You don’t have to react or think or decide anything at all.
You only have to let yourself feel the emotion.
It will dissipate in two minutes, leaving no ill effects, if you keep breathing it out.
Later you can decide how to handle what needs handling.
Slow down. Be with the moment.
(All this advice to myself . . . hope I can do it . . .)
Resistance creates stress and
stress creates pain / illness.
We all tend to block emotional energy in our own ways and circumstances.
What are you resisting?
Which emotions do you avoid? Or ramp up overmuch?
What situations trigger you?
Why? What’s going on inside?
(Thanks to Pixnio for this pic.)